Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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