"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
