ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
