I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
