see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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