Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
