I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
