Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
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Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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