I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
