My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
