i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
