We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
