But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
