I wannas sexs uuuuu
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
