He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
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Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
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Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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