One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
