i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
