I wish you could order shots online.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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