the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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