we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
