I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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