4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize