Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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