also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
