Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sext me about skeletons
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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