Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
