if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
