Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
not ubering you a puppy
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
