It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
