do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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