So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
