you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
