what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
