After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
