i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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