There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so let's talk penis.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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