Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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