Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
