this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
