WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
