I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
