i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
