Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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