I think scott just propositioned me for sex
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
