So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize