I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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