So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
