Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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