I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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