if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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