what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
