we have officially lost it.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
