and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
