You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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