she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
