i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
