Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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