# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
