what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
