I smell stomach acid.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
