Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
