it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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