dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
