i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
