Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
i now understand why vodka
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
