another moral hangover. fuck.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
