Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
