Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
