Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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