I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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